The Ultimate Question

Everything becomes more complicated when hearts are involved. Sometimes I wish i could just put a wall around my heart and never let it down. I wish I could be one of those people that never let their guard down and whatever they're feeling or thinking is hidden. They never show emotion. I wish I could be that person for one day. Or at least meet someone like that and ask them how they do it. Instead I have a bleeding heart, and I wear it on my sleeve.

"You were given this life, because you are strong enough to live it"

What if your life was mapped out before you were even born, and you were chosen from billions of souls or something to lead that life because you showed that you were stronger to lead that specific life with those specific problems and obstacles. You were chosen for that specific life, instead of the soul next to you, because they might not be strong enough to deal with it? I wonder if that's why people commit suicide, because there was a mistake along the way and they were set into this specific life that they weren't strong enough for, so they ended it. I have always felt that when people die of say a car accident, or something not intentional, that their alotted time on Earth is up. That they have lived the life that was set out for them. What if each life was like a movie, and it is a certain amount of time and then there is an ending, maybe a tragic one, or a happy ending. I'm getting very philisophical and I love it. But what if that was how it worked, we are actors chosen by God because we are perfect for the role that is our life? And we do what God tells us and how God tells us to do it, because we are the actors in his play or movie. I'm not complaining at all, I feel that he guides a person and ultimately wants the best for that person. Or what if the people that somehow disobey what Gods wishes are, and it ultimately leads to their demisal, what if they were killed or died of something horrible at a young age, because they did not listen to God, and therefore they had to be removed from Earth. They were bad actors and they were fired, and since you can't just replace the actor in the specific life, that life/movie ends and does not continue. I wonder if when you die and go to heaven or hell, you get to watch your life like a movie. You get to sit on the couch and watch your life from beginning to end and look back on what happened and why they happened. I would love to write a book about this stuff. It's borderline philosophical and religious. The ultimate question of if there is a God, or everything that I am saying and thinking is just a load of crap. But I truely believe that is how it works. And that any decision that you make is the one God made for you because He wants the best for you. I trust everything in God, why would he want to lead me to my demisal, unless I was doing horrible things. Wow I should quit while I'm ahead, lol. I guess I could pick this up later. Goodnight all.