"Am I too lost to be saved, am I too lost...."

I must have it out for myself tonight.  I must say i've reached one of my all time lows.  I must have some desire to lead myself to my own demise.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  Here comes the recklessness.  I have to try and control myself now, I can't keep doing this. I have to learn to control it and not become this way.