"My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing, You cut me open and I keep bleeding"

So I often wonder if this is really happening.  If Carlos is real, do I deserve someone so wonderful?  Am I allowed to have this, is it okay to believe in this?  Could this be real, or is this just a dream?  I wonder about all of this a lot, because he is so wonderful.  But I always wonder if this is some cruel joke and i'll allow my heart to fall, and just when I let my walls fall he will tell me it was all a lie and I meant nothing.  I always wonder if I should let my heart become weak.  Because once I let my heart become weak and fall for someone, it then allows them to break it.  I want to believe it all so badly, I want to believe that it can really be true, that he isn't just faking or thinking it's real and it's not.  He makes me so weak, in a good way.  He makes me let my walls down, because I feel that he will protect me if something happens.  He makes my lungs and my knees weak, in a good way.  He allows me to hope, which is a start.  It feels right.  He knows it all.  He's seen me at my strongest and my weakest.  He's seen me crying and me laughing.  He knew what he was getting into, knowing my past, and everything, and he chose it, he chose me.  Is this real?

"Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to."